Really quick: if you want something similar to Dungeons & Dragons, but which focuses on fun, usability, and quality—yet isn't grossly overpriced—as opposed to social justice progressive politics, propaganda, and irrational, obsessive hatred over mere disagreements and arbitrary thought crime violations, check out Dungeons & Delvers.
If SJWs love anything more than being hate-filled racists, sexists, abusers, gatekeepers, you know, everything they pretend to despise, it's disingenuous narcissists and grifters feigning success and relevancy. This is because they're incapable of feeling love or even happiness, and lack anything resembling a work ethic, intelligence, creativity, and talent. So, I wasn't particularly surprised to see this:
GMs having monsters just die despite having hit points remaining isn't anything new (and, neither are GMs having monsters keep going despite running out).
People have been doing this for decades, attempting to justify it with a variety of excuses. Years ago, there was a Dungeon World group on Google+, and one of the many petty arguments I can recall pertained to just this sort of behavior. Though, back then, it wasn't merely frowned upon, you had gatekeeping nobodies trying to shame others for having a monster die even one hit point sooner than intended.
Now it's being celebrated, if for no other reason than the "right" person is pushing it. In this instance we have Daniel, a stock model green-haired token so-called progressive hire, barely capable of churning out obscure itch.io trash and regurgitating half-baked ideas someone else cooked up editions ago.
Some people will praise his pretentious pandering, because they are naïve enough to think this is a good idea, or because they want to be perceived as an "ally", a good person, who is "signal boosting" or "elevating" the voice of a someone who is already inundated in undeserved awareness. Or, perhaps they're just in it for some fleeting attention-by-association.
But, is robbing players of a legitimate victory, of the learning experiences that only failure can impart
really something to celebrate? I'm not
surprised: SJWs don't like working, and they don't like seeing others succeed. They
want as much money and attention as possible, for doing as little as possible, ideally nothing more than filling out a boilerplate Twitter bio crammed with as many invented labels as space permits.
I'm surprised Daniel doesn't go full retard fanfiction and remove hit points altogether: just let players describe how they win. Can't have actual tension, uncertainty, or pesky rules impeding their undoubtedly boundless, wondrous creativity. Also can't have them all cramming into your gender neutral cry closet at once, at the drop of a bad die roll.
Normally I'd suggest just writing a novel but, alas, we're back to that whole, you know, time and effort thing. Plus it'll be more difficult to get people to pay attention without milking the Dungeons & Dragons brand and/or having the WotC advertising team on tap. Wait, I got it: demand WotC contract a novel from you, imply that they'll be racist if they don't, call them racist anyway once you get the money, and use that as your excuse why you won't finish it (not that you intended to in the first place).
After all, it's worked out so well for all the recent releases. Nothing says quality like diversity check-box hires with dyed hair, any sexual orientation but the oppressive hetero, and invented gender identities (ideally your pronouns should come right after your name).
Personally, if I had such an issue with hit points that I felt the constant, or even frequent need to end the fight prematurely, I'd just adjust them. Not on the fly, before we even start playing. That's what people did in 4th Edition, halved them and/or reduced monster Defenses. Which to be fair this was deserved (and somewhat adopted officially with the Essentials line), as fights against kobolds or wolves could take half an hour or more, where in previous editions it would be over in a few minutes.
So, you do that, tell the players ahead of time so they're expecting it, so they know the rule, and things are fair and consistent. You
could go the extra mile and make your own game (
which is what I did), or even the extra
meter with a paltry, untested, ill-conceived houserule document that no one will use, not even you. But,
again, you'd have to think, write some stuff down, print or email it to your players, then
they would have to think, take it into account while rolling up yet another blue-skinned gay tiefling warlock...
Nah, too much hassle: just arbitrarily end the fight during a fake "dramatic" moment, ideally after a player uses one of their "cool" powers, so they feel like they're winners. You know, at least until they stop playing and the sad reality of their life sinks in. Assuming they play in the first place: I'm convinced that most SJWs don't really play, but just like talking about it, watching others pretend to play, and post boring, contrived backstory, sometimes supplemented with trash art.
Unsurprisingly there are those that agree with Daniel (like attracts like):
Blew some minds? Sure, if you've never played tabletop roleplaying games before.
What I find hilarious, besides the absurd, exaggerated claims that minds were blown, is that Alphastream not only feels it necessary to virtue signal his injection status (which won't be "full" after the booster rollout), but also the fact that he's a cowardly moron that wears useless face diapers--which the box specifically states offers no protection whatsoever, mind you--right in his Twitter handle.
Disappointed he didn't shoehorn in pronouns.
Here's another:
Fat? Yes. Goblin? Sure. Unprofessional? Also sure. But, babe? Oh, no, no no no.
In addition to baselessly complimenting herself, Katie also needs you to know that she's queer (condolences to all the straights that I know were already lining up), whatever "feral" means, and has at least one (self-diagnosed?) mental illness, which was already apparent given the use of the "they" pronoun. You're also "permitted" to call her she (which makes me wonder if it's really a guy), because in the alphabet cereal cult you can be simultaneously one, both, and no genders.
In case you're wondering about the image behind her predictable word-salad bio, it's how she handles the unnecessary task of determining when she should have a monster up and die:
If only she put in half as much effort exercising.
I find it absolutely hilarious she put in "Math?", as if she's not even sure herself. Or it's her attempt at humor, something she should really work on cultivating given her looks. And then, knowing her audience of unmotivated, mentally ill narcissists, weak in both body and mind, Katie even heads things off with a trigger warning: don't worry, this maybe math is only basic and estimated.
But, there you have it: if you're unfortunate and desperate enough to play with her (or are just unable to escape her orbit), any victory you achieve is fraudulent. Unless she decides the fight is "cool" enough to keep going, your success was handed to you. Your "cool killing blow" didn't really kill the monster. Katie got bored, or thought you were getting bored, or...whatever.
It's a sham. But then, did you expect anything different? Did you expect millennial minded SJWs to put in even minimal effort playing the easiest edition of Dungeons & Dragons?
Luckily not everyone agrees with Daniel, preferring genuine success over obvious deception...
...and naturally someone with a furry avatar disagrees, attempting to rationalize his stupidity with fallacious gibberish. I wonder...
Yeah, sounds about right.
To tear down his flimsy argument: why do only monsters benefit from ambiguous hit points? Why can't PCs just die when someone feels like it? After all, you can't know your "IRL" hit points. But then, how does anyone even suffer damage? After all, what's the "IRL" damage of a knife? How can you even get hit in the first place? Do you know your "IRL" armor class? Dexterity? How much of an armor bonus anything could ever apply?
I guess spells are out the window, too. After all, how do you cast spells "IRL"? How many spell slots can you have "IRL"? How do you know your saving throw modifiers "IRL"? Your saving throw DCs? Do you know your Intelligence (which is quite low, but still, how can you "know" your how far in the negatives it is)? Any stats at all?
It is a game, and games need rules. You can't just hand waive some rules away because you're a lazy, entitled retard. Well, you can, but then the results are meaningless. Like your lives.
Dungeons & Delvers won't help you calculate your real-life statistics, and won't necessarily change the way you play, so you're free to continue letting the dice fall where they may or coddle your group. But, it does feature a number of changes to the mechanics so that things make more sense. Also some changes to abilities, flavor, and appearances of certain classes and creatures.
Check it out if you're looking for a fresh, innovative, non-woke take on Dungeons & Dragons.
Leave a Comment