WokeC "Art"

Really quick: if you want something similar to Dungeons & Dragons, but which focuses on fun, usability, and quality—yet isn't grossly overpriced—as opposed to social justice progressive politics, propaganda, and irrational, obsessive hatred over mere disagreements and arbitrary thought crime violations, check out Dungeons & Delvers.

Remember that super gay satyr that WokeC posted in a blatant attempt to pander to their fellow sex-pests? Well there's apparently a lot more trash art where that came from. Sooo much more, but I'll mercifully subject you to but a glimpse, starting with an oddly proportioned centaur:

Boring stock pose? Check. Smug expression indicating that, yeah, there's maybe a monster or something, but, whatever, she's totally got this? Check. The absolute bare minimum feminine features, so that you're only kinda sure it's supposed to be female? Check. Body almost completely covered, except for the animal parts of course, because current-year D&D is pandering to all the sex-pests, including furries? Check.

What makes it hilarious, is that it gets worse the longer you look at it.

I'm not even sure what the fuck is going on with her armor. It's like...studded leather, maybe, because over 40 years later D&D for some reason still has that shit. But, despite the description for leather armor stating that it's boiled to be stiff, it looks oddly flexible, almost like World of WarCraft armor that's just textured over the body, so it stretches and distorts oddly when the model moves.

There's also fur lining just the waist of all places. The bag on her back is just slung over and attached to nothing at all, meaning that it'll just bounce off at some point. The quiver perspective looks way off, and the upper part doesn't line up with the lower part. Also just noticed that her armor is going to be a pain to remove given that the buckles aren't even visible (on almost all "leather" armor I see, they're on the front).

The arrow wouldn't be able to rest where it is; do people normally angle their bow gangster style? The arrow looks like it changes perspective as you move from the fletching to the arrowhead. Arm looks like it's made of wood, the bracer looks flat, and there are these weird wrappings that don't seem to serve any purpose. What's with the random Roman-esque baltea? Why is her hair doing...whatever it's doing? It doesn't look like it's billowing in the wind, but being whipped about by a localized whirlwind.

All in all, pretty pathetic, even by WokeC standards. To cleanse your visual palette, here are some vastly superior pieces:

I know, I know, she has feminine features, a full head of hair, and visible boobies. You know, the baseline attributes that still somehow provoke vitriolic envy from SJWs, even though it's merely a drawing.

Can you imagine Larry Elmore trying to get work nowadays? Did he go woke? I hope not. Ditto for Clyde Caldwell, who did this one:

The random straps are odd, but you get way more detail, she looks better, and she's got a spear, which makes more sense for a centaur.

I don't know who did this one:

I like it the most because of the detail and dynamic pose, and that she's not smiling and smirking, as if there's no real threat. The gear looks normal (no armor that looks like an amalgamation of European, Roman and Mongolian/Japanese design), clothing doesn't look flat and bland, and as an added plus she's nice and feminine.

Back to the WokeC shit-show, next up is...whatever the fuck this is supposed to be:

Is it a ghoul? Why is it laughing? What are all the random spikes for? Why is it wearing pants? Why are half its pants missing? How are its pants even staying up? You know what, given the bizarre sexual fetishes emblematic of WotC and their core audience, I'll just be glad that they exist at all, unlike this next one.

A...naked half-blue dragon with wings? Or, wait, it's got those stupid dragonborn dreds, so probably some souped up dragonborn option. Wearing a random bandoleer with random scrolls and potions. So...a mostly naked winged dragonborn wizard? Don't know what's with his left arm. Is he holding something? That just how he walks, hand up like that?

Overall pretty boring pose, and the face perspective looks off. Kind of like this guy

I originally thought this was supposed to be a feminist, or a foulspawn, which look only slightly less retarded:

But apparently it's a "star" spawn. Is it related? Just renamed? No clue, but this is more what I think of when I think star spawn:

You know, something more interesting then "ugly humanoid" with tentacles popping out of random places. But this is current year D&D, and WokeC is doing the best they can with the diversity hires stupid enough to let themselves be exploited under the delusion that anyone will care that they have their name in a shitty book filled with watered down, derivative content originally conceived by far more creative, passionate, and genuine gamers.

And why is his chest exposed? Couldn't afford a normal robe? Why is his staff wrapped in random places? I'd ask why there are a bunch of dongs strapped to the top, but come on, it's WokeC: we all know why.

Reminds me of a goblin from Warhammer Fantasy, just...tamer and gayer. Ze/zir/zippity zoo za looks too happy, clean, and utterly harmless, which makes sense given WokeC's easily triggered and offended audience of mentally ill snowflake pretenders, who believe that vaguely imagined and described elfgame game combat is somehow indistinguishable from genuine violence. 

Oh look, yet another dragonborn. But he's a bard, because I'm sure no one has ever conceived of that combination before. And there's also a frog-person that might also be a bard? He's banging cymbals together. You know, as you do when you're traveling through an ostensibly dangerous wilderness: gotta make sure monsters know you're coming well in advance.

The one human looking guy is obviously gay. Or a tranny. Or both. Otherwise that arm draped around Stock Tiefling Clichelock would be literal rape.

What makes it worse--aside from the ridiculously oversized axe and a complete lack of anything resembling adventuring gear--is that there's no sense of mystery, tension, or conflict. They don't look like they're going off on an adventure, but just got done with their hour-long shift at fantasy Starbucks, and are heading over to the daily pride parade.

Remember when D&D art largely depicted humans? Supposedly the prominent default race? Those were the days:

Looks like a normal party with normal hair, created by players interested in the game, instead of attention-starved, uninspired narcissists suffering from the delusion that blue skin and horns is a personality, that their tiefling, orc, or furry-whatever is in any way interesting, original, or even somewhat unusual.

Such a boring action scene. You've got a dangerhair tiefling boldly shouting in a ruffly dress that is definitely the sort of thing you'd wear when adventuring, while dangerhair dwarf is swinging another ridiculously oversized axe and apparently attempting to simultaneously squeeze out a turd mid-leap.

And then you have some meek soyboy in the back with a...pompadour, I guess, with shaved lines. It's something millennial hipsters do in an ironic attempt to appear atypical, interesting, even though ultimately they look like all the other millennial hipsters that try way too hard to differentiate themselves by dressing like retarded clowns, as opposed to cultivating a personality.

I find it amusing that he's got his spellbook out so you can tell he's a wizard (as if his lame glowing spiral isn't a giveaway), even though there's no reason, no requirement or mechanical benefit for doing this, and he's not even looking at it.

Also, why does the dwarf have a random book? Why would you bring a random book on an adventure, especially one you don't even need, and just hang it from your belt of all places?

I like how the guy seems to be saying, woah, what the fuck are you doing? I get that they are trying to make the chick seem badass, courageous, the "active" character--because to SJWs every "action girl" character is the first of her kind--when really she's a dumbass for just strolling right up to a dragon to blast it with what is assume is a pitiful magic missile spell.

No planning. No preparation. I'd be concerned if this weren't 5th Edition: you know the GM is going to pull punches and let the moronic wizard player "win", because they don't want to be called out on Twitter and lose their job for ruining "the story" and/or being "sexist". What makes the woman even stupider is that she isn't even carrying any supplies, and she's got her spellbook just hanging from her belt, where it can be easily damaged, destroyed, or stolen.

I know what you're thinking: the obvious joke is that the black guy is raping a goat, and given that WotC is a company of degenerate sex-pests pandering to their fellow degenerate sex-pests this is absolutely true, but take it all in (giggity) and look at the big picture. 

You got some Star Trek-tier fish guy laughing. Two people just sitting there, thinking, not giving a shit. Other people randomly walking about. There's some sort of light pillar at the center, floating ball of something off to one side. The outfits are ridiculous. Just random strips of whatever, chaotically slapped together, without any rhyme or reason.

I'm guessing they're supposed to be uniforms, designed by someone that has no fucking clue what uniforms or even clothing look like.

And then at the center of it all you've got an absolutely hideous...thing, which I assume is perhaps intended to be a halfling. Dyed hair. Absurd, atrocious mental-illness hairstyle. Parts of her eyebrow randomly shaved off. At least four piercings that we can see. Isn't she just so atypical and intriguing? No, not at all: this is how a child would present herself, grotesquely overcompensating for a lack of personality, originality, and individuality.

So what the heck is even going on, here? If it's some sort of test, why are they in a big open area, with random people in the background just milling about. If it's a prank, where are people just standing there, not reacting either way? Dangerhair halfthing turned someone into a goat so he could get raped by the diverse student makes the most sense, because I could see instructors not attempting to stop it due to not wanting to seem "culturally insensitive", and WokeC commissioning this because, well, they're WokeC.

Scroll back up, check out the female centaurs that actually look like women (from the waist up, anyway). Check out the adventuring party not primarily composed of circus freaks and humans in what are essentially skin-suits. That's what we used to get just over a decade ago. Art from artists with even a modicum of talent and skill, that actually gave a fuck. Art that inspired you, and made you want to play the game.

Unlike this asinine agglomerate of bland, uninspired trash churned out by lazy amateurs, solely hired because they're cheap and/or WokeC could use their various identities, invented and otherwise, as a shield from criticism. Or even as a marketing gimmick, convincing self-hating, mentally ill weirdos into buying their crap under the pretense that in doing so they'll somehow end racism, sexism, and all the other watered-down buzzwords, without having to get off their asses and do anything.

Even though they're the racists, sexists, and everything else they pretend to hate.

But what did you expect from WokeC? They don't give a fuck. They know their core audience will buy anything, everything with the D&D logo on it, whether or not they'll use it, or even play the game as opposed to talking about their insipid character cliches on social media, posting their own trash art, and/or merely watching narcissistic grifters pretend to play. Anything, just to delude themselves into thinking they are part of something.

It seems like every week there's yet another reason to be glad that I stopped giving WokeC a dime nearly a decade ago, walked away from "modernized" D&D, and just did my own thing. Which, as I like to point out, has attractive women in the art: