God of Social Justice War

Though God of War is billed as a "third person action-adventure game", it can be better described as a culturally appropriated, misogynistic toxic male power fantasy: Kratos, a very muscular, very abled, whiter-than-white man slaughters hordes of monsters in hopes of being able to just write off the unforgivable crime of killing his own wife.

The start of the game has Kratos fighting across numerous wrecked ships, and right off the bat the game shows its true colors in a not-so-subtle way. Ships are often referred to as she, so by depicting all of the ships damaged beyond repair the game's creator is trying to reinforce the notion that women are damaged and useless.

Unfortunately, and predictably, it doesn't stop there.

The "ships" (i.e. women) are under attack by a hydra (i.e. a phallus), which is symbolic of how all women everywhere are constantly under attack and oppressed by The Patriarchy. The many "heads" of the hydra continually penetrate the hulls of these "ships" in order to devour the white men inside. While killing men isn't, never has been, and never will be an issue, because as we all know that when men die it's the women that suffer the most.

No, it's the symbolism that's problematic, as the game is subconsciously trying to illustrate that it's "okay" to tear unborn fetuses from pregnant women and devour them. Mind you some of this happens in the background while you are completely safe from harm, which also means that the game is inviting you to watch.

Eventually Kratos makes it to the end of the level, where he must fight several hydra heads bursting from yet another derelict ship. Unlike before, the combination of the feminine ship with the masculine hydra is in fact symbolizing this particular ship as a transperson. So, it's no surprise that Kratos must penetrate (i.e. rape) and destroy each of the hydra heads in order to progress.

Upon completion of this level the game fast forwards to show Kratos surrounded by nude, inebriated women. It's no stretch of the imagination that he's had his way with them while they were under the influence, which means that they were unable to provide continuous, enthusiastic consent, showcasing yet another example of rape culture and women as objects in media.

Kratos angrily storms to the deck of the ship, where Athena uses a statue to communicate with him. As a goddess Athena could have appeared to Kratos in person, but that would both give her agency and not objectify her, and we just can't have that. Kratos wants the memory of him brutally murdering his wife removed from his mind, because to him--and by extension, the game's creator--women are again merely objects to be used and discarded when convenient for a white, straight man.

Athena, despite being a female goddess, actually agrees to this, so long as Kratos defeats Ares for her. Ares is currently destroying her city, and while she claims that she could handle him on her own (after all women are exactly as physically capable as men, having made up at least half of all viking warriors), Zeus has removed her agency (surprise surprise), forcing her to rely on a mere mortal man to do a goddess's work.

Kratos accepts, and sets out yet another path of wanton destruction and slaughter so that he, an entitled, privileged, straight white man can selfishly write off his cruel misdeeds. Along the way he deals with generic undead and minotaurs, and a host of clearly feminine monsters like harpies, gorgons, and sirens, all of which he dispatches in a needlessly brutal fashion.

Misogyny and oppression at the press of a button!

While there are countless instances of misogyny, sexism, racism, female objectification, oppression, and victimization, for the sake of brevity, and both your physical and mental well-being, I'm only going to highlight a tiny fraction of them.

The first occurs early on, where Kratos is forced by Aphrodite to fight Medusa. You can't avoid Medusa, as Aphrodite erects a magical barrier that prevents you from continuing until you rip off her head, which is intended to reinforce a common misconception that women plot and backstab each other. Once you finally claim her head, you not only carry it around for the rest of the game, but certain sections will require you to use it as if it were just any other item.

To repeat: you are carrying a woman's head around and using it like an item, something you would never see happen with a man's head.

I guess I'm surprised and relieved this is the only thing he uses it for.

In another part of the game a group of sirens prevent you from locating a horn that summons a temple bound to the back of a male titan, who is forced to bear it for all eternity. Obviously since it's a male titan this wouldn't normally be an issue, but titans are few in number, making them a minority: do I even have to make the comparison between oppressed minorities and slavery?

Near the end of the game, after crawling out of Tarterus (which you accomplish by, in an act of toxic masculinity, kicking a poor male soul) you confront Ares. To beat him you end up harnessing the power of Pandora's box. For those not in the know, Pandora's box is a blatantly sexist and misogynistic Greek legend in which a woman named Pandora opens a box containing all the ills that plague the world, after being explicitly told not to.

Of course when Kratos opens it nothing bad happens: instead he gains additional power that allows him to grow in size and overcome Ares.

We get it: women can't do anything right.

Finally, after defeating Ares, Kratos discovers that Athena isn't going erase his memories, though she still graciously forgives his sins. But, as a straight, white, entitled man this predictably doesn't satisfy him, and he tries to kill himself. Yep, it's more toxic masculinity: instead of talking about his problems, Kratos is opting to take the easy way out, without considering how his death will affect the women around him.

But, in yet more acts of kindness, Athena both spares him from death and elevates him to godhood, which of fucking course Kratos still refuses to be thankful for, leading to sequels and prequels that only serve to repeat and reinforce the countless social justice issues that plagued this game.

And Now For Something Completely Different

For the handful that haven't figured it out by now, this article is entirely satire. I in no way believe any of the above: God of War was a fucking awesome, incredible game, and I recommend it to anyone that's a fan of the action-adventure genre (enjoying Greek mythology is merely an added perk).

I've thoroughly enjoyed almost all of them, though Ascension gave me some mixed feelings, and I missed one of the PSP ones (but the one I did play on the PSP holds the record of being the only PSP game I've ever completed).

Those of you that have actually played the game will notice that I've over-analyzed and/or misrepresented parts of the game, like how Kratos is tricked by Ares into killing his wife and son (an act with obviously torments him), in God of War III you rip off and cart around Helios's head and use it as a magical lantern, and Athena essentially deceives you into doing her dirty work for her, knowing full well what Kratos really wants, and that she isn't going to give it to him.

I wrote this article to highlight and mock social justice "warriors" (which isn't the first time). If you don't know what a social justice warrior--also known as a social justice weasel or whiner, armchair activist or slacktavist, professional victim, manufactured outrage brigadier, con artist, etc--is, whether you've never heard of it before, heard it only in passing, or are someone who mistakenly thinks that it's a good thing, this article does an excellent job of summing up what they are (and are not) about.

Unfortunately you can't reason with them: they delete your comments, block you, or have a bunch of other equally pathetic, miserable wretches try and shout you down with hypocritical nonsense. Fortunately aside from cowering in their echo-chambers and hugboxes, safe from criticism, there are numerous people that do an excellent job of pointing out the bullshit that to them qualifies as logic:

• Asalieri2 (especially this video)
• Factual Feminist (does a great job of pointing out, among other things, the pay gap myth)
• NEET LIFE
• Sargon of Akkad (this video from last October shows a fraction of all the women in support of the GamerGate movement)
• ShieldWife
• SkepTorr
• The Amazing Atheist
• The Justicar
• Thunderf00t (A lot of great videos debunking Anita Sarkeesian's propaganda.)
• TL;DR
• veemonro

If I had to thank SJWs for anything (thankfully I don't), it would be that this rise of lazy, unimaginative, unskilled, untalented, sycophantic hacks has introduced me to plenty of the opposite, which yes, includes even women and minorities.

The problem is you aren't going to find them on sites and twitter feeds dedicated to/written by third-wave feminists, professional victims, and/or self-hating white knights, where lazy, the talentless men and women without drive or purpose whine and misrepresent non-issues that basically translate as them not being given unfair treatment, and/or having to overcome alleged "barriers" that equally affect men.